The Fault in Our Stars Hicstrid!
by TheTrueQueenofIce
Summary: Astrid Skye Hofferson is as regular as a sixteen year old girl can get. If you ignore the part that she has thyroid cancer and a living grenade. Now she is being forced to attend the horrid support group, assuming that it's a waste of time and pointless. Then she meets Hiccup Haddock and he gives her something she will be eternally grateful for.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note: Okay all you TFIOS fans out there! If you love Hicstrid this is the story for you! While I was sitting around after publishing a chapter for my other story, I was thinking about my beloved fandoms. Then I realized, a lot of the guy characters that we all love have one leg. Peeta Mellark, Augustus Waters, even Hiccup! Then I thought wait a second, Augustus Waters, Hiccup Haddock, both are intelligent, attractive, and charismatic idea! DING DING DING! Fangirl squeal! I do NOT own TFIOS OR HTTYD, they belong to their owners and you know who they are! ENJOY! PLEASE REVIEW IF I SHOULD CONTINUE OR NOT!**

_I am NOT depressed, _Astrid Hofferson thought to herself angrily as she sat in the car with her mother driving. _Just because I sit around all day, reading the same book over and over, and watch reality shows does not mean anything._ They are not therapists, they're oncologists. _They don't even have cancer themselves, so what right do they have to deem depression as a side effect I am supposedly experiencing? And besides, depression is not a side effect from cancer, it's a side effect from dying._

Name. Age. Diagnosis.

Astrid Skye Hofferson. 16. Thyroid originally, but with a breathtaking (literally) and long settled satellite colony in her lungs. How was she doing? Other than the fact she was dying and everyone had diagnosed with depression as well? She was fine.

Of course, her mother took the doctor's word for it and signed Astrid up for the dreaded support group. The doctor said it would be good for Astrid to be around people who "were on the same journey", which was ridiculous and idiotic. Everyone's journey could end anytime, anywhere. The support group, took place in the basement of the church. The basement was shaped like a cross in the smack middle of the church. In the literal heart of Thor.

The support group leader, Bjorn, was someone Astrid more or less disliked. It was more accurate to say she was annoyed and immune to his pointless efforts to talk about the heart of Thor and how they cancer survivors were sacred and whatever.

She tried to get out of going to support group, but her mother insisted. Going on saying that Astrid was a teenager and she need to get out, make friends and live her life. _Or whatever's left of it,_ Astrid added mentally to herself. And if she really wanted to be a teenager, she should get a fake ID and go to clubs and take pot, which she learned that you don't 'take' pot. She would've known that with a fake ID. But Astrid eventually conformed. Not because she saw it her parents way that it was somehow good for her, but for the same reason she did anything, to make her parents happy.

Much too soon, her mother pulled into the church parking lot and stopped in front of the church to let Astrid get out.

"Do you want me to carry it in for you?" Her mother questioned as soon as she saw Astrid pick up her oxygen tank.

"No I got it." Astrid responded firmly. Because her lungs suck at being lungs, she was forced to carry around a little blue oxygen tank. It had a little steel cart to wheel behind her. Throughout day and night it delivered oxygen to her through a cannula that wrapped behind her ears and reunited at her nostrils. It was essential for her very survival, so she got over how it looked a long time ago. Carrying her oxygen tank on her own, she made her way towards the door of the church.

"I love you. Make some friends!" Her mother called through the window as Astrid walked away. Astrid gritted her teeth and gave her mother a smile as she went through the door.

After taking the stairs down to the basement of the church, Astrid grabbed a cookie and some juice from the snack table and scanned the room for a seat. It was then that she noticed a boy she had not seen at support group before. He was wearing worn jeans and a hunter green t shirt with a dark brown leather jacket, slouching in his chair with a smile. He was tall, lean, had somewhat messy auburn hair, and intriguing forest green eyes.

And he was staring at her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Ok, due to the positive reviews, I'm going to continue. Remember I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING! Enjoy and review. Constructive criticism on how to make to story better is welcome.**

In spite of herself, Astrid suddenly grew self-conscious with the boy's persistent staring. She felt the urge to tug at her sagging jeans and worn out pink t shirt that she didn't even like. Her short blond hair was probably a mess, she had barely looked at it that morning let alone brushed it. She looked down and fiddled with her bracelet with a dragon on it. She glanced back at him and he was still staring at her. Astrid felt herself blush but instead of looking away, she defiantly stared back at him. Refusing to even blink she engaged the boy in a staring contest. He seemed to sense her challenge and he stared at her without blinking as well. Finally he broke first and looked away. Astrid smiled to herself with her victory and the green eyes returned to her.

"Snotlout, would you like to share with us today?" Bjorn's voice brought Astrid's attention back to the group.

"Sure, I'm Snotlout, seventeen years old. Turns out I have to have surgery to remove my other eye so I'll be a blind person. I'm not complaining though, things could be worse, even though being blind will suck. But I've got a great girlfriend and a friend and cousin like Hiccup to help."

The boy staring now had a name to come with him.

"We are here for you Snotlout," Bjorn said and the rest of the group practically deadpanned the words. Several other kids in the support group shared their calamities, which Astrid found painful to listen to, but it wasn't anything she wasn't used to. Then Hiccup's turn came. He stood up.

"My name is Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third, might have to write that down." His voice was a little nasally, but it was cute, Astrid caught herself thinking.

"I'm seventeen years old. Over a year ago, I had a just a touch of osteosarcoma. Had to get rid of the cancer but they couldn't save all of me, so peg leg!" Hiccup reached down and pulled his jeans up of his left leg revealing a metal prosthetic as he balanced on one foot. "Anyway, I'm here at my cousin's request." He finished with a smile.

"How are you Hiccup?" Bjorn asked.

"I am spectacular. I'm on a dragon that only flies up." Hiccup demonstrated with his arm extending to the ceiling.

"Would you like to share your fears with us?" This question caused Hiccup to turn and look at Bjorn. Lost in his thoughts for a minute then brought his answer.

"Oblivion." He said simply. "I fear oblivion."

Without raising her hand Astrid stood up. "I'm Astrid. Listen, we are all going to die one day it's inevitable, there is a time for each and every one of us. And there will be a time when no one remembers who we ever were. No one survives forever. And if the inevitability of human oblivion scares you, I suggest you ignore it, or better yet get over it. That's what everyone does, or should do."

Astrid returned to her seat soaking in the silence of the room, contemplating her response. The silence was broken by Hiccup's voice.

"Damn, aren't you something I've never seen before." His smile spread across his face.

Astrid stood outside on the sidewalk waiting for her mother to pull up, which wouldn't be too long before she did. Looking down at the concrete, she saw a shadow walk up next to hers. Lifting her head she saw Hiccup standing next to her, with a respectful distance.

"What's your name?" He asked. Astrid's brow furrowed in a mix of confusion and slight irritation. Hadn't she said her name earlier when she retaliated against his fear confession? And he already forgot?

"Astrid" She said curtly.

"No, your full name."

"Astrid Skye Hofferson"

Astrid Skye, did your parents name you that because your eyes are the color of the sky itself?" Hiccup asked smiling.

"Yeah actually they did." Astrid couldn't help but smile at his observation. She turned her head to him, he was staring at her again, with that wide smile on his face.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Because you're beautiful. And beautiful people should be admired."

"Beauty is incredibly overrated." Astrid smirked.

Hiccup just smiled. "Let's go watch a movie, at my house. Now."

Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third you could be an axe murderer for all I know."

"There is that possibility." Hiccup declared looking across the parking lot. Snotlout was standing next to a yellow bug car, kissing a girl with black hair and pale green eyes rather aggressively. "Yes, they have no problem publicly displaying their affection for each other." Hiccup said when he saw Astrid looking at them with wide eyes. She could hear them mumbling 'Always' to each other. "Always?" She questioned?

"Always is their thing, like they will _always_ love each other." Hiccup informed taking a cigarette pack out of his pocket. Astrid's eyes widened in shock and anger and… disappointment?

"Are you serious?! Do you think you're cool to do that?" Astrid yelled at him, who looked slightly bewildered. "You had _freaking cancer_, and now you're going to try your luck and see if you can acquire _more_ cancer?! I'll have you know not being able to breathe SUCKS! It's your hamartia! You're fatal and tragic flaw!" She turned to stomp away from him as she saw her mother's car pull into the parking lot but a hand held onto hers. Yanking it away she spun around to face him.

"They don't hurt you unless you light them, and I've never lit one. It's my metaphor, you put the killing thing right between your teeth, but you never give it the power to kill you."

Astrid froze to the spot, cogitating his words. Her mother pulled up behind her waiting for her to get in the car.

"Mom, I've made plans with Hiccup Haddock."

The ride to Hiccup's house was terrifying, to say the least. His red and black truck jerk forward every time he hit the accelerator and jerked back every time he hit the break. Astrid's head bounced off her seat for what felt like the hundredth time.

"I failed the driving test three times." Hiccup confessed.

"I have no trouble believing you." Astrid responded.

"I'm left footed, so it's really hard to drive with my right foot. And old Prosty doesn't help me feel pressure that well. The fourth time I took the test, the instructor said '_Your driving is unpleasant, but not unsafe.'_

"Cancer perk" They said simultaneously, and laughed. Hiccup then hit the brake and jerked the wheel to the left to pull into a driveway, knocking over several trash cans in the process.

Following Hiccup inside the house, she noticed quotes and saying plastered onto plaques, stitched onto pillows and painted on plates. "So called 'inspirations'. Don't ask" was all Hiccup said.

Sitting in Hiccup's room Astrid looked at the numerous basketball trophies sitting on his shelves.

"You must have been pretty good as a basketball player."

"I wasn't bad. I hate it now. One day I was shooting some free throws and I realized that throwing a spherical object toward a hoop was the dumbest thing I could be doing when I could be doing something more fulfilling and worthwhile. But enough about me, what's your story? And not your cancer story, your _real_ story."

"Well…I'm not very interesting."

"You're response in support group strongly says otherwise. C'mon tell me the first thing that comes in your mind."

Ok, _An Imperial Affliction_. It's my favorite novel."

"Does it have dragons in it?"

"No it's not like that."

"Ok, I will read this horrible book that you somehow favor and in exchange," he got up and plucked a book of his shelf. After writing something in the book he held it up, the cover was black with a vibrant green color, _Legend of the Night Fury_.

"You will read this amazing story about the unholy offspring of lightning and death itself." He held the book out for her to take, when she reached for it her hands brushed against his.

"Woah." He said taking her hand. "Your hands are so cold." He held her hand with two of his trying to give her some of his warmth.

"They're just under oxygenated." She replied nonchalantly, while she didn't pull her hand back to her surprise.

"Astrid Skye, I love it when you talk medical to me."

"I cannot deny, it has been a true and genuine pleasure making your acquaintance Astrid Skye." Hiccup said as he pulled in front of her house. They had spent a few hours watching movies and listening to music together.

"Same here Haddock." Her smile coming forth without her awareness.

"Can I see you again? Tomorrow perhaps?" There was a hint of nervousness and hopefulness in his voice.

"Eager aren't you?" Astrid smirked.

"Well, I did say tomorrow, I'd much rather see you tonight."

"We are still strangers, I'll call you when I finish this book." She held up _The Legend of the Night Fury_. "I suspect you wrote your number in the book already."

"And you call us strangers." Hiccup retorted. Astrid just smiled and did something she had not done in a long time, she punched him in the arm.

**Don't forget your reviews! And if you want while you are waiting check out my other stories. They are a little dark, but if darkness doesn't scare you or you ignore it I suggest you read them! **

**Until next time!**


	3. Chapter 3

For what had to be the hundredth time, Astrid opened _An Imperial Affliction_ and began to read. It was maddening that the book ended in mid-sentence. The book was about a girl named Abby, who like her, was suffering from cancer. Abby either dies or becomes too sick to continue in the book, but the abrupt ending leaves the fate of the other characters, like Abby's mother, undetermined. Astrid had emailed the author, Gobber Van Houten, dozens of times, but had never gotten a response.

As Astrid read the words that fascinated her, she couldn't help but wonder if Hiccup was reading them as well and if he had conceived an opinion about it yet. She was almost done with Legend of the Night Fury, in fact, she only had a couple pages left. Only the ending wasn't the only thing waiting for her when she read that last page, Hiccup's number was waiting for her as well, with her promise to call him after she finished the book.

She couldn't define the reason of her apprehension. Instead of staying up to dwell on it, she turned out the light to slowly fall asleep.

Astrid turned the last page of _The Legend of the Night Fury_ and saw Hiccup's number, patiently waiting to be dialed into a phone, her phone. Ignoring her trepidation, she picked up her phone and punched in the numbers that would contact Hiccup.

After two rings, Hiccup's distinctive voice came through the phone, "Afternoon Astrid Skye! I trust you have read my book and are now following up with your promise?"

"As a matter of fact I am, have you read my recommendation?" Astrid questioned, not realizing his voice brought an automatic smile.

"Please tell me my book is missing pages, or there's a sequel or even an AIA pamphlet?"

"I'm very sorry to say no to your options. But you liked the book?"

"I loved it! But the ending-"

"I know the ending is rather abrupt-" Astrid cut him off, but he returned the favor.

"Abrupt does not even begin to analyze the agony Van Houten has caused. He has committed a dangerous crime, cutting off an astounding book in mid-sentence… leaving its dedicated readers to suffer and endure the pain of uncertainty of the fate of their beloved fictional characters?! There will be consequences!"

"I think Van Houten has already taken his chances, Hiccup." Astrid laughed at Hiccup's dramatic statement. Over the phone, Astrid heard loud sobbing.

"Are you okay?" She asked shocked that their conversation had taken a quick turn to despair.

"Oh! I am excellent! However, our friend Snotlout has decelerated into a psychotic state of heartbreak and betrayal. How soon can you get here?"

"I'll be there in 15 minutes." Astrid said and they hung up.

After saying hello to Hiccup's parents, Astrid made her way down the stairs to Hiccup's room, where more wailing could be heard from the basement. The wailing gave Astrid a feeling of uneasiness, as she was not sure how to handle whatever heartbreak Snotlout could be facing, he hadn't had his surgery yet, so what was wrong?

"Astrid Skye?" Hiccup called out as she set foot on the floor. "Snotlout, does Astrid Skye make this better?" No response came from Snotlout. "How are you?"

"I'm fine," she answered looking at Snotlout, who was playing a video game with tears on his face.

"I like that color on you, it suits you more than pink." Hiccup said brushing her shoulder looking at her red t shirt. Seeing Astrid notice the tears, he sighed.

"Snotlout and Heather… are no longer considered a pair of two young lovers." Hiccup explained remorsefully.

"Oh Snotlout, I'm sorry."

"Yeah, me too. It's unacceptable. I'm about to lose my sight and she breaks up with me cause she can't handle it. But we all know the real reason…" Snotlout didn't want to continue, so Astrid did for him.

"She didn't want to dump a blind guy." Astrid finished sadly. Snotlout nodded.

"And after she promised me always! What happened to that promise?! Doesn't anyone believe in true love anymore?" He asked, for some reason looking at Astrid for the last question.

"I don't know about true love, but I do know that sometimes people don't understand their promises when they make them. Only when they try to keep them, do they realize the commitment."

Snotlout jumped up and started violently kicking and punching the bean bag chair he was sitting in. Letting out shouts of rage with each punch until Hiccup stepped in.

"That's not helping. You need something that breaks and that won't break." He stated rushing over to his trophy shelf. Picking a large blue one he handed it to his cousin.

"Have at it."

"You sure?"

"I've been searching for a way to tell my dad I hate basketball, I think this is the best way. I get a message out and help a friend get through his emotions in the process."

Throwing the trophy to the floor, Snotlout brought his foot down on the small statue of a person holding a basketball. Once he finished off one trophy, he took another one down from the shelf and finished that one as well. Soon he was standing in a mess of trophy remains breathing heavily.

"Feel better?" Hiccup asked hopefully.

"Not really." Snotlout answered sadly.

"Physical or mental, pain demands to be felt." Hiccup declared. Astrid couldn't agree more with him.


	4. Chapter 4

It had been a week since the whole heartbreaking trophies incident, and Astrid had not spoken to Hiccup. Technically, it was his turn to contact her, not the other way around. Astrid refused to wait around for him, so she went on about her life. Taking her online classes, going out for coffee with her mother, and ingesting her medication of Phalanxifor.

Then one night at dinner, her phone rang. Caller ID: Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third. Astrid looked at her phone, tempted to answer, but obeying the 'No phones at dinner' policy.

"Astrid, honey, would you like to be excused?" Her father asked. Astrid looked up in surprise, smiled and answered her phone and went up to her room.

"Astrid Skye," Hiccup said when she answered.

"Hi, how are you?" She asked.

"Feeling triumphant. Listen, remember how I said that I thought it was torture to suffer the uncertainty of the fate of the characters from An Imperial Affliction? And I said there would be consequences?"

"Yes…?"

"Dear Mr. Haddock, I am writing to thank you for your correspondence, via Ms. Freya, my assistant."

"Hiccup, what the hel are you talking about?" Astrid froze to her seat.

"I tracked down his assistant. And I managed to contact Van Houten. 'I appreciate anyone who sets aside the time to read my book. But no, I have not nor do I ever plan to write another book sequel to An Imperial Affliction. I do not feel as if it would benefit me or my readers. Thank you again for your email' And before you ask Astrid Skye, check your email box."

Astrid threw open her laptop and checked her email, sure enough there was a forwarded email address for Ms. Freya there. Astrid began to type away on her laptop. Her email consisted of her admiration for the book for its true ingenuity for understanding cancer patients and her questions of what happens to Abby's mother, Abby's friends, whether her mother marries the dutch tulip man, even what happens to Abby's hamster. She ended with her intentions to read anything else he would write, including his grocery lists.

She read her email out loud to Hiccup as she typed it. "What do you think?" She asked as she prepared to send it.  
"It's good, a bit pretentious but genuine. I'm still blown away by the fact that he called me 'Sir' in the email!" Hiccup exclaimed. Astrid laughed at his excitement.

"I agree with Van Houten on some level, we are all side effects." Hiccup stated.

"Barnacles on the ship of consciousness." Astrid quoted. She could almost hear Hiccup smile at her quote.

"Is it really one in the morning?" He asked. Astrid looked at her phone, sure enough, it read 1:02 AM.

"I gotta sleep. You should too, Astrid Skye."

"Okay." She said.

"Okay." He said back. But neither of them hung up.

"Okay." Astrid said again. There was silence on their line, but it wasn't awkward, it was something Astrid couldn't describe.

"Okay… perhaps 'okay' will be our 'always'." He said after the continuing silence.

"Okay." Astrid said, her smile giving itself away in her tone.

Finally, Hiccup was the one who hung up.

It was all Astrid could do to not check her email every 10 minutes to look for a response from Gobber Van Houten. Instead of waiting, she visited Snotlout at the hospital. The surgery went well, and he was showing no evidence of cancer, that was good news, he was now blind which was still unfortunate. Astrid and Snotlout discussed the good qualities of a nurse. 1. Cannot be overly perky 2. Doesn't talk about disabilities in a condescending tone 3. Gets blood on the first try.

After a while, Snotlout's face tightened with anger. "It really sucks, sometimes I just wish the whole cancer thing never happened. And I thought of Heather a lot more than just my eye."

"I'm sorry Snotlout," Astrid said, not knowing of anything else.

"Hiccup stopped by," Snotlout said smiling. "He helped." Then his pain medicine kicked in and he was asleep. Astrid went down to the gift shop and bought a dozen yellow roses. She bought yellow because she read somewhere yellow means friendship. Leaving them on Snotlouts table, she left him to rest.

The next morning, Astrid checked her email and there was a response waiting for her.

Reading the email as fast as her eyes were mobile, she processed two things. 1. I will not answer your questions in writing, only in person. 2. Should you ever find yourself in Amsterdam please stop by. I will let you read my grocery lists.

Astrid lost her breathe, not because of her sucky lungs, but from amazement.

"OH MY GOSH! THIS LIFE!" Astrid yelled. She shouldn't have done that, because as soon as she did, her mother rushed into her room in a panic.

"What's wrong?!" She asked.

"Nothing, nothing." Astrid reassured her. "Look," she said pointing to her screen. "Should you ever find yourself in Amsterdam, please stop by! He invited us there to find out what happens after his book! I have to go!"

Her mother sighed sadly. "Astrid, I want you to go, but... we don't have the money for international travel. The expense of getting equipment over there, honey, it's not-"

"I get it. Don't worry about it. It was silly to consider it." Astrid forced a smile to her mother, who still look concerned. Instead of sitting there looking at her mother's 'I can't make my dying daughter's only wish come true' face, she said she wanted privacy to call Hiccup.

To say hello, she read him the letter from Van Houten.

"Wow, that's incredible." He said.

"Yeah right it would, but I can't get to Amsterdam unless you can make that night fury jump out of your book and fly us there."

"Don't you have a wish from the Genie Foundation?" The Genie Foundation spent their time and money granting wishes to sick children.

"Not anymore, I spent it when I was thirteen." She responded sadly. On the other end, Hiccup's eyes widened at her revealing of age when she spent the wish. The only thing kids wanted at that age...

"You did not go to Disney World." Hiccup breathed apprehensively.

"Hiccup, I was thirteen..." Astrid warned.

"Astrid Skye! How could you use your one dying wish for something so cliche and conventional?!"

"Knock it off Haddock! I said I was an immature, provincial thirteen year old girl!"

"Ok, sorry, but I still can't believe I have a crush on a girl with such standard wishes." Astrid's eyes widened at the word _crush_, but decided to change the subject.

"Shouldn't you be in school?" She asked.

"I'm playing hooky to be with Snotlout."

"How is he?"

"Still trying to determine if he's not ready to deal with his new disability, or if he's really really upset about Heather dumping him. Not very talkative."

"How long will he be in the hospital?"

"Several more days, then he's got rehab for a couple weeks, but he'll be able to stay at home. Oh, there's his mom I gotta go, okay?" His smile was showing itself in his tone again.

"Okay." Astrid smiled and hung up.

**Hey sorry if it's a little slow, but it'll get better real soon! It feels so weird writing about a character named Heather...**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey! So sorry I'm late updating. Caught up in summer assignments! Anyway, here is the climax of the story!**

**Enjoy!**

"So Astrid, how is it going with Hiccup?" Her mother smiled at her from the other end of the table. This sparked some anger in Astrid, but she forced it down for her mother's sake. They were seated at a two person table at Astrid's favorite café. Her mother had become more relentless than usual with her devotion to Astrid since the discussion about the financially impossible trip to Amsterdam. It had been all of Astrid's favorite foods, movies, TV shows, and now she took her to her favorite café. When would it all end? It wouldn't. It started when Astrid was diagnosed when she was thirteen and wouldn't end until she lost the war with cancer. But then what would happen to her parents? What would they do with themselves once their main source of purpose was gone?

"We're just friends Mom." Astrid said tersely but still trying to sound gentle.

"Oh of course honey! I just have to say he's such a nice young man. You're not still upset about that trip are-"

Not wanting to have this conversation, Astrid stood up abruptly, knocking over her smoothie in the process. The pink liquid spilled onto her shirt. Her mother flew into action grabbing napkins and dabbing Astrid's shirt dry, but it still left a stain.

"I'm ready to go home, I'm feeling a little tired." Astrid said, knowing her mother would comply. Her mother smiled and nodded as they walked out to the car.

….

On the way home, Astrid's blue cell phone began to ring. Looking at the screen, she saw Hiccup's smile as his name showed up. She noticed her mother glancing over at her phone as well. Ignoring her, she answered.

"Hello?"

"Good afternoon Astrid Skye. Are you home?"

"No, I'm out with my mom."

"That was a trick question, I know you aren't home, because why else would I be sitting on your steps waiting for you?" Hiccup retorted sarcastically.

"Oh, well, I'm almost there." Astrid wondered what he was doing that was so important he had to wait at her house instead of calling her.

"I'll be here."

…

Astrid looked out the window of the car and sure enough, Hiccup was patiently waiting for her. Even from the driveway, the tulips in his hand stood out like an orange traffic cone, but in a good way. Astrid stepped out to meet him, her mother giddily following behind.

"For you Astrid Skye." He charmed handing her the flowers. Astrid took them in her hands and put her nose to them, drinking in their fresh scent of flora. "Would you like to go on a picnic with me?" He held up a large wicker basket, Astrid wondered how she had not noticed it before…

"Okay," Was all she could say. Then she remembered the stain on her shirt. "Just let me change real quick, come on in.

….

Astrid changed her smoothie stained shirt into a blue and green striped scoop neck, brushed her hair and teeth, and sprayed perfume into the air then stepped into the mist of fragrance and quickly back out again. She smiled at the bright orange tulips she placed in her bathroom.

Just before she was going to step into sight of everyone in the living room, she hid behind a wall to listen to her father talking with Hiccup, this could be interesting.

"I love all the artwork in your house." Hiccup said and Astrid knew he meant it. Hiccup was very talented at drawing and painting, he had showed her his notebook a few times.

"Thank you, Hiccup. So you met Astrid through support group?" Her father's voice questioned. It sounded more like an interrogation than friendly chatter to Astrid.

"I was lucky to be there the day she came."

"You are a survivor?" His voice seemed to intent on Hiccup.

"Indeed I am. I didn't cut this guy off the adrenaline rush of it! "

"How are you now?" Her father pressed on.

"I've been NEC for fourteen months!"

"That's wonderful! Treatment these days is truly remarkable." Astrid could sense something lingering behind his congrats.

"Listen, Hiccup, you have to understand that Astrid is still really sick. She always will be. She's the kind of girl that will try to keep up with you but-"

Astrid heard enough. It infuriated her that her father would tell Hiccup to coddle her and treat her as an invalid.

"I'm ready!" She chirped as she stepped into the room with a smile plastered on her face. When she looked at Hiccup she could tell he knew she had heard everything.

"So where are you two heading?" Her mother walked into the room, holding a parenting magazine, to hopefully only Astrid's notice.

"Shh, it's a secret." Hiccup said playfully holding a finger to his lips.

"Do you have your phone sweetheart?" Astrid held up her cell phone to pacify her mother. After giving both her parents hugs and them giving her kisses, she and Hiccup finally made it out of the front door.

…

"So, do you think your parents liked me?" Hiccup asked, his self-confidence wavering to the smallest fraction. They were walking on the sidewalk towards the town's park. Astrid had her hand on Hiccup's arm. Hiccup was tall and skinny, but he was built firmly.

"Please, my mom adores you. And Dad seemed fine, but who cares what they think? You don't need everyone to like you."

"_I_ care what they think. They're your parents, and besides, what's wrong with being liked?

"There are more important things in this world besides the surrounding people's opinions." Astrid stated as a small tightness came to her chest as she walked besides Hiccup. _Worry is useless, Astrid. Besides, you have a PET scan next month, who cares?_

The side walk came to an open field. In the middle of the field, there was a sculpture of a skeleton of a person, with plenty of children playing on it. Hiccup took an orange blanket out of the basket and set it down on the femur of the skeleton. Reaching in the basket again, he brought out two sandwiches, consisting of cheese and tomato and handed one to Astrid as she sat down.

After a minute of chewing, Hiccup broke the silence.

"You are probably wondering why you are sitting here eating a bad sandwich with a guy wearing a jersey of a sport that he loathes."

"You read my mind."

"Astrid Skye," he began. Like the epitome of all young children before you, you spent your wish hastily without care or consider of the consequences. When your life flashed before your eyes, you were overcome with the fear of never getting the chance to spend your wish. So you spent it on something you did not truly want, the cold and artificial pleasures of a theme park."

"Hey I had a great time on that trip, I met Peter Pan and Donald Duck-" Astrid interrupted his speech.

"I am in the midst of a grand soliloquy and you interrupt me! And after I memorized it and everything!" Hiccup cried out dramatically.

"Okay sorry, please continue. You were at artificial pleasures." Astrid said taking another bite of her sandwich.

"Ah yes. The true heroes of the wish factories, are the ones that wait patiently for the one true wish to come into their desire. Maybe it'll come along, but maybe not. Then you realized your true wish was to visit the mysterious Gobber Van Houten in Amsterdam. And if you had saved your wish without haste, it would have paid off."

"But I didn't so…" Astrid couldn't tell where this was heading. It honestly sounded like he was lecturing her on her impatience she had as a thirteen year old girl.

"Yes…but I save mine." Hiccup said. "In exchange for the leg." He held up his left leg, his jeans covered his prosthetic so she couldn't see it. "I'm not going to give you my wish, Astrid Skye. But I have an interest in meeting this Gobber Van Houten as well. I don't believe that it would make much sense for me to meet the author of a book I wouldn't even know about with the girl who acknowledged me of its existence in the first place. So I talked to the genies, and they are all for it. We leave May third and return on the seventh." Hiccup ended his reveal with his charming smile, waiting for her reaction.

"Hiccup, seriously? Truly?" Astrid exclaimed. He nodded.

"Oh my gods! Hiccup that's amazing!" She yelled punching him in the stomach. "You're the best."

"Hey don't punch the guy who finances your international travel!" He answered, but had a smile on his face.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hello my readers! I'm so sorry I haven't updated. My laptop hasn't been in my possession due to technical problems. And school has started again for me and with six academic classes and three electives, time is precious and limited. I'll update as soon as I can!**

She should have seen it coming, should have suspected it at least. Or known that cancer was too cruel to leave her be when she was happy, but she didn't.

Astrid let out a scream to alert her parents, the pain was too intense for her to try and formulate words. It was as if her lungs had become deflated, like a balloon filled with oxygen. The balloon is full and round and floats in a happy manner, then the tie is released and all its precious oxygen begins to escape, taking the life of the balloon with it.

Now it was happening to her, something was trying to take the life out of her. Her head was in her mother's lap in the back seat of the car as her dad sped through the streets towards the hospital.

Then she was being lifted out of the car and rushed inside the hospital. She was placed on a hospital cart, she refused to lay out like people do when they are placed on the mobile beds, she just lay there curled up in a ball as she was wheeled away.

Cancer survivors are courageous, but with the pain refusing to relent, Astrid would have been very happy to die right there.

….

The consistent beep of a heart monitor was the first thing Astrid sensed when she began to stir. She inhaled to test her lungs and was relieved by fresh oxygen.

"Astrid…" Her mother's voice came. Astrid opened her eyes and saw her parents sitting next to her bed.

"What…what happened?" Astrid's voice was barely audible. Her parents could only hear it because they were right next to her.

"Fluid in the lungs again. But they were successful draining it out. You're going to come home today." She reached out and put a hand on Astrid's cheek.

"You've been asleep for a few days but you're going to be alright. This is just a thing we can live with." Her father spoke trying to contain the waver in his voice. Then a nurse with red hair walked into the room. Knowing the usual routine, her parents stood up to leave, but not before kissing Astrid's head.

"I'm Sarah, your nurse." She smiled softly. Astrid liked that. If there was one thing she couldn't stand, it was nurses who smiled too hard.

"Anything interesting happen while I was out?" Astrid asked.

"Oh just the usual. Political debating, celebrity make ups and break ups, sporting events, but the most interesting of all, there is a teenage boy who has hardly left the waiting room since you got here."

"Hiccup? He hasn't seen me like this has he?" Astrid knew she was pale as a ghost, no one ever looks very good when they are in the hospital.

"No, only your parents." Sarah replied.

Astrid nodded and closed her eyes to rest.

….

A few days later, the hospital deemed Astrid well enough to return home. But she and her parents had to attend a meeting about her condition. Astrid just sat back in her chair with her arms crossed and stared at nothing in particular, tuning out the entire conversation. Anything the doctors were saying couldn't be too different than what she had heard before in the dozens of other meetings she had been forced to attend. She couldn't help think about the first time her lungs had filled with liquid and she was on the verge of death in the ICU. She was struggling to catch her breath and her mother told her it was okay to let go. Astrid was trying, but then she heard her mom say something as she sobbed into her father's chest.

"I won't be a mother anymore."

That memory pierced Astrid's heart. She hadn't forgotten about that even after all these years of surviving cancer. Maybe that was why she wanted to know about Abby's mother and what her fate was. Wondering if her mother was able to go on after losing her only child. Because if Anna's mother could continue after losing her daughter, maybe her parents could too after she went herself. Astrid had to know what happened to them. There was only one way to find out…

"Can I still go to Amsterdam?" Astrid interrupted, prompting a silence from everyone.

"Well…" One of the main doctors began. "It would increase some risks… and I don't think-"

"I don't see why I can't go." Astrid interrupted tersely. "They've got oxygen on the planes obviously. And this is an opportunity I may never get again. I-"

"No!" He interrupted her this time. Astrid glared at him. "I don't know how else to say this Astrid. You're too sick. You-"

He didn't get the chance to finish his sentence because Astrid stood up, knocking over her chair behind her, and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind her and waited for her parents.

….

Lying down in her backyard she stared at the grey, cloudy sky that seemed to be reflecting her mood. Her eyes tended to change colors depending on the weather and her mood. If she was happy and she was sunny out, her eyes sparkled with the beautiful blue color of the sky. But if she was sad and the heavens were dark with clouds, her eyes took a more grey tone.

Her phone vibrated next to her ear. Picking it up the screen said: _This silence is deafening! Are you there?_

She put her phone down not bothering to respond. This was so unfair to him. He wanted to be with her, to be her friend, he was an amazing guy who was free of his cancer, and she was just a set up for him to get hurt again. No one knew when, but they knew that if Hiccup stayed around, Astrid would hurt him. She was like a grenade, no, she WAS a grenade. One day she would explode and everything in her wake would be obliterated. No one knew the designated time of the explosion though, there was just the faint ticking of the timer.

She began to type a response to Hiccup.

_Listen, I'm not going to put you through this. I don't know if this makes sense or not but I can't be close to you. All I can think about is what it will do to you. I'm sorry._

Pressing send, Astrid turned off her phone and laid back down to close her sad grey eyes.

She wasn't sure how long she stayed that way. Perhaps it wasn't very long. All she knew was that she opened her eyes when she heard the sound of a truck knocking over two trashcans in front of her house. They were set to the side of the driveway, but only one person could be bad enough at driving to hit them

Astrid sat up. She heard the sound of her back door opening and closing but she didn't bother turning around. She heard the familiar squeak of Hiccup's prosthetic approaching. Hiccup took a seat next to her. They were silent for a few minutes.

"That is one sad swing set." Hiccup said nodding his head toward the worn swing set at the end of the yard.

"I know, it makes me sad just looking at it."

"Well, since we are in the current state of sadness, let's go sit on it." Hiccup got up and made his way to the swing set and sat down on the swing that was too small for him. Astrid took the swing to his left and idly swung back and forth.

"Astrid Skye," Astrid looked up to meet his green eyes for the first time. Hiccup's eyes widened slightly when he saw the dull grey color her eyes had alternated to.

"I hope you know, that you trying to keep your distance from me in no way lessens my affections for you. All your efforts to keep me from you are going to fail." Hiccup said gently.

Astrid looked down and fingered the cannula. "Look, I like you. And I like hanging out with you, but I can't let this go on any longer."

Hiccups brow furrowed in confusion and sadness. "Why not?"

"Because I don't want to hurt you." Astrid replied sadly.

"I wouldn't mind, Astrid Skye."

"No you don't understand-"

"No, I DO understand." He said more strongly. "I wouldn't mind Astrid Skye. It would be a privilege to have my heart broken by you because-"

"Hiccup I'm a grenade!" Astrid cried, Hiccup stopped talking. Astrid sighed. "One day I'm going to explode, and I'm going to obliterate everything in my wake and… I don't know I just feel like it's my responsibility to minimize the casualties."

For the longest time, Hiccup didn't answer. Then he grabbed the chains of his swing and huffed. "We gotta do something about this gods forsaken swing set. It's emanating half the depression here.

They wrote the ad together.

**Desperate and Lonely Swing Set Needs Playing Children and Loving Home**

"Seeks the butts of Children," Astrid added in. Hiccup let out a hearty laugh.

"That's one of the many things I like about you Astrid Skye. Who says that? You. You are so busy being you that you have no idea how unprecedented you are."

Even though there was never enough air for her, the air felt extremely scarce that moment.

The swing set went to a home with three children who needed more time in the outdoor world instead of the colorized pixel world, and Astrid never saw it again.

….

The next morning after Astrid slept in late, she go out of bed and onto her laptop. Upon checking her email she saw she had a new message from Freya.

Dear Astrid,

The genies have informed me that you will be visiting us with your friend Hiccup and your mother of the 4th of May. Gobber Van Houten and I are delighted and cannot wait to meet you! Your hotel is only one street away from Gobber's home. If it works for you, we will see you at ten on the fifth in his home so he can answer your questions about his book. We look forward to your arrival!

Best Wishes, Freya.

Astrid's heart sunk deeper into her chest than she ever thought possible.

"Mom?" No answer. "MOM!" She shouted knowing her mother would definitely hear her. Her mother rushed in wearing nothing but a white towel. "What's wrong?!" She asked.

"Nothing, sorry. Can you call the genies to tell them that the trip is off? I got an email from Freya and she thinks we are still coming."

Her mother got a strange look on her face and held her lips in a tight line.

"I was trying not to tell you until your father got home…but the trip is back on!"

"What?!" Astrid shrieked.

"You need to live your life and-"

"Thank you Thank you Thank you! I love you so much Mom!" Astrid shouted wrapping her arms around her mother.

"I believe you have a phone call to make." Her mother handed her her iphone and walked out of her room.

"I will." Astrid typed a response to Freya, closing her laptop she took a deep breath. She looked down at her chest. "Okay lungs, you keep your shit together for just one week."


End file.
